It often happens that after a divorce, the ex-husband suddenly tries to get everything back and asks to return. But is it worth it to take? Why is he doing this? Our article will tell.
As a rule, when a man and a woman get divorced, each of them has questions about what happened between them. Yes, undoubtedly, it is always very difficult to part, but sometimes there are situations when you have to decide whether to return the relationship back? Will it be right? How to behave correctly and not make mistakes when the ex-husband wants to return everything?
Why the ex-husband wants to return: reasonsWhy did the ex-husband come back?
You are very mistaken, if you think that since love is still there, then you can simply return everything back. However, nothing will work out if you don’t learn anything and draw no conclusions from the situation, but simply start from where you ended up.
Statistics show that usually everything can work out in pairs, but this is only if they have reviewed and changed their behavior after the divorce, have not lost attractive qualities for each other, and also build relationships taking into account past mistakes. So why does the ex-husband want to return after a divorce?
There are several reasons for this behavior:
When a man wants to return to his family, this does not mean how much he loves his wife. It just happens that a man cannot live independently and he needs constant care. Until a man meets a new woman who will do everything for her concern, he will try to return, especially if he knows that they are waiting and will be accepted. Such couples can constantly converge and part.
There is also a situation where the husband has been absent for a long time and then suddenly there is full of affection and tenderness. However, it quickly disappears again. Only one conclusion suggests itself - he became bored and wanted proximity, but there was no one to go except for you.
When a man begins to convince you that he loves and is ready to bring things even now, do not rush to immediately take it. Better ask why his behavior changed so quickly. Maybe he just has nowhere to live and he considers you as a fallback.
- Fear of responsibility
Some men can be very frightened of changes and for them the usual course of life is more familiar. For example, the birth of a baby. This means that he will have to take on great responsibility, but he is not ready for this.
He may think that you will pay less attention to him and in order not to lose his first positions, he simply leaves. But since he’s already accustomed to one way of life, he still returns, because he supposedly changed his mind.
Such men rarely understand what they want and they don’t have any clear goals. They are not able to make decisions themselves, they are afraid of responsibility, not ready for difficulties, and in general they are immature. You can never rely on such people and predict their behavior. So, there are chances to get into a difficult situation again.
- Thirst for thrill
There are families in which scandals and a surge of emotions are a way to tickle your nerves. If during a quarrel a man runs away and slams the door, then be sure that he will return within a week. He did not even think to get away from you, he just had too many emotions and it took time to calm down.
- Impact from
It also happens that all friends or relatives put pressure on a man and claim that you are not a couple. Such pressure can lead to the departure of a man from the family. However, over time, everything will form and he will return. In this case, consider whether the man himself is able to make a serious decision. Maybe he succumbs to the influence of others? Is it true that the husband finally decided to return, or then he will leave again?
- Owner and desire to have a woman
In many cases, women react with hysteria, tears, and scandals when a man leaves. But not everyone does this. Wives may not roll scenes, but simply make a husband’s decision and take the situation calmly.
As a rule, men for this are not ready to wait for them to stop. This gives a good blow to self-esteem and after the break a man ponders for a long time and often makes the decision to return back.
Usually in a family, wives are emotionally attached to husbands, even to the detriment of their personality. They give up all friends and give up interests. Men by nature are hunters and they need to seek women. And if there is no need for this, then he begins to look for another prey.
If, after the breakup, the wife returns to her former life and comes out again, then this offends him and he wants to return again. How to be in such a situation? You need to draw the right conclusions, otherwise you will divorce.
Often, a man’s problems — money problems, dismissal, relocation, illness of loved ones — may be to blame for the separation of the couple. And the man does not want to be a burden, and he can do nothing. Accordingly, he leaves, and when everything is getting better, the couple can be together again. There are other reasons for leaving, it all depends on the nature.
The most enjoyable moment for a woman is when a man understands all the reasons for the break and change his mind, but this happens extremely rarely. Remember that after the divorce, the man is left alone with his thoughts and he has time to realize and weigh everything. Often men, having lost everything, understand how dear a woman was to him and now he would like to return.
When you have been living with a person for a long time, you begin to understand his behavior, temperament, temperament, and so on. Yet, often women attribute to men qualities that they do not have. In this case, the question arises - how to understand that the husband really wants to return and not to lose? First of all, remember that actions always say more than just words.
Every man can say everything beautiful, but not everyone can confirm words with actions. If your ex-husband, even after a divorce, is ready to help you at home, financially, then this says that he is not ready to let you go.
Still, if a man goes on a conversation, then this is a manifestation of interest in continuing the relationship. If he is silent and does not speak about his feelings, then he just has not decided what he wants. It’s just convenient for him to have an ex-wife nearby, for example, for sex or other purposes.
Remember that men do not like to talk about feelings, goals and it is extremely difficult for them to admit that they are wrong. Although, if your man does not talk about his thoughts, then it’s worth considering, because he doesn’t want to be with you, but at the same time he doesn’t want you to be with another.
What if the ex-husband wants to return - what to do?Should I return my husband?
Family reunion is always difficult and painful. This is due to the fact that the gap was the misconduct of a man. When a former partner wants to return, the woman is faced with a choice - is it worth it? Resentment and all bad things are hardly forgotten and can stir up old negative feelings. To understand whether it is worth returning everything - try to understand yourself and some simple tips will help you with this.
When a man leaves his family and then comes back, it is quite natural to think - what will happen next? After all, the motives of a man can be different, but you should not feed yourself too much with dreams. Find out what is the reason for the return of your beloved. Despite all the feelings, it’s still worth asking about the true motives.
Suppose you began to live together and for some time everything is fine with you, like a second honeymoon. But suddenly a situation occurs that led to a break. For example, you split up because of a husband’s betrayal. And today he cheated on you again. It turns out that the passions calmed down a bit and parting again. Only now it will be much more complicated.
It is unlikely that you will want to go through all this again and suffer that you behaved stupidly, believing in his love. If you agree with this, it is best to immediately find out why he wants to return.
Turn off emotions and approach the situation from a reasonable point of view. It is recommended that the husband and wife write on the sheet what they liked about the partner and what not. Then everyone analyzes what is written and decides whether he is ready to change. This is the very first thing that will help to make such an important decision.
The second stage is more difficult because it is emotional. You already realized that you are not happy with each other and know that it is worth changing. Now think about whether you need all this and whether you see yourself with this person in the future. You can answer in the affirmative when you solve the questions:
- Do you have any children
- Is everything financially good
- What is the situation in society
- You have resolved all your differences
- Can you continue to live happily without negativity and reproaches
Analyze your emotional state of life in marriage and after a divorce. Think about how you lived during your breakup, what emotions overpowered you, and can you take care of yourself?How to return the ex-husband?
So, if the husband offers you to converge, then:
- Think well and turn off emotions
- Understand the true reason for returning
- Think about what you want from the relationship and whether the chosen one meets your expectations
When you think about everything, then decide for yourself whether you are ready to forget about everything that was in the past and continue to live with a person so that nothing happens again. Otherwise, the man will begin to think that if he leaves again, he can always come back.
Learn one more thing - your life will not be the same as before. The whole past will remain with you and you won’t be able to avoid hassles until you agree on the following points:
- How will you resolve conflicts
- Are you ready to change your views and draw the right conclusions
- Can you forget about the past
Remember that in this case you need to build relationships mutually. If only one side tries, and the other - to stay inactive, then nothing will work. When you take your husband back, you should not remember his mistakes. If you are waiting for a constant apology, it is unlikely to be so. As a rule, this results in a big scandal. It is important to understand that you decided to continue to be with this person.
Why then did you decide to put everything back? Be sincere with yourself and do not hide behind children and finances. Children are unlikely to be happy to grow up in an environment of constant conflict. You should also not follow the lead of friends and relatives that you should take your husband back if you yourself do not want to. You, too, have the right to happiness, and you decide what to do next.
Do you doubt that your husband says sincerely that he wants to return? Then try to ask him for something. If he gladly helps you, then it’s still not so bad. On the other hand, this method is not entirely true, because some men simply cannot refuse the power of upbringing. And they just understand that a woman will not be able to solve all domestic issues herself. Despite everything, if a man takes the initiative himself, then this is very good.
When the husband really realized his mistakes and admits this, trying to correct the situation, then this can really be called sincerity of feelings and honesty of intentions. Such men change their views for the sake of women, seek attention and prove that feelings still remain.
How else can you understand that the husband really wants to return to you not because he is comfortable? Try to just talk frankly. Try to convey to the man how you feel and think about the situation. If he really needs you, then he will do everything to correct the situation. The main thing is that the words correspond to what he does.